You had me at hello

Grocery Shopping

2011-06-14T19:24:00.002+08:00

I go grocery shopping to spend time alone.

Have made a few life changing decisions. And i'm still thinking if i did okay.

Its the holidays!

2011-06-13T12:11:00.002+08:00

Summer break nowww! And i took a veryyy long hiatus from writing i know.

wah its been a year into Uni. Done with the first year, and moving on to greater and more interesting things :]

the end of nineteen

2010-11-29T03:53:00.002+08:00

I have never changed.

Fleeting, uncontainable, unpredictable, what else?

I have to learn to collect myself, learn how to process PROPERLY, and gather the thoughts well. Aiya, some things just dont change :}

surviving yes, but things could be better.

2010-05-18T19:27:00.002+08:00

I am perturbed.

That people actually take time to visit something dead, for so long. But secretly alive. haha.

Well, I am, well and kicking, and very happy now. It's now, when i'm completely free from the cares of study, and work, life is really awesome, having all the time in the world to do what i want to, and not having to fret over deadlines or zzzzz

Man, alot has been going on, with all the meetings, camps, projects and choreography.. I feel that i dont recognise the girl that has been ranting in this space since 2006. I just feel that i dont know her, and am slightly ashamed of whatever she has been saying since then.

Its something working in my life, and i must say, its God.

2010-04-10T11:38:00.002+08:00

Thank you for those who care, and are always around, somewhere.

The few months have been busy, hectic, awesome, good.

Till now, i dont know if where i'm heading is God intended, am still afraid, but yes, taking it by faith.

Have faith, take heart, he's here

2010-02-26T17:08:00.003+08:00

Yangon is a beautiful place, filled with glory and grace.

Nothing shines brighter than the son of god, son of man. catching a glimpse of His heart and feeling his heartbeat and sadness for His nations was simply truly awesome. The most specific trip i have had so far, and listening to him speak right into my heart was just amazing. His work does not end here. It has only just begun.

2010-02-02T23:04:00.003+08:00

havent been here in awhile. have been rather inconsistent with the journaling and would rather pen them elsewhere. But this place holds too much for me to delete. Since i am going to continue keeping it, might as well resuscitate it and alive it will be. The A levels came and gone rather quickly. Would love to be spared of the loving memory of biology notes and argand diagrams. Its over, over. Hardly a month or two has passed but it feels like a million light years ago since i've touched a graphic calculator.

Trackers has been great. It has been emotionally draining but worth every bit of whatever i've felt so far. Aling Yon is just one hell awesome team with people who just complement each other in every way possible. Life has been busy, great at the same time, and tiring.

God has been good,
Truly

2009-11-05T15:03:00.000+08:00

Very sick and tired, literally

2009-09-15T08:49:00.002+08:00

Very tired, and need a nice long walk to make me feel at peace. Am currently craving for seafood Aglio Olio. Would have cooked it myself, just that the fridge has ran out of ingredients like prawns and clams. damn, Its in the morning and i'm already feel sulky. yesterday wasnt so bad, but today, i woke up on the wrong side of my tatami.

I hope no one sees this, its officially dead, but i've used it as my ranting space. No more the "go tag my blog" craze of yesteryears, and its more of my life, i live it, and yours, so be it. I watched Ming Zhong yesterday, and dylan said something i particularly like, that if you know what is your best, you wouldn't hesitate to give in, or settle for something you know thats not. Along that line, can't really remember it word for word, but the gist's there.

Yeah, i guess it's the case, but not everyone can be that true to themselves. So many, out there, living in self delusion, maybe because of the fact that they've suffered under low self esteem, and anything looking brighter than usual, not brightest, they settle for it so easily. I hope they find their worth and not continue living in such a lie. What would life be then, if what you wanted and hoped for, halved and easily settled for? I would die with tons of regrets.

Maybe why i'm particularly impulsive is so that i would not let feelings or nerve impulses escape unaccomplished. I think i would be very sad if i had to look back and wished i had done this at that time. Many instances cannot be reverted back, and the same setting cannot be staged once again for you to do your re-run. Its probably crazy, in generic terms, but honestly dont many of us have regrets? I dont like the sinking feeling of it, and the way it eats you up slowly inside. For a while, i couldn't find myself, there was this struggle that i wanted to act in a way not conformed to the general population. But deciding to do things by feelings could also be my very downfall.

Consequences that cannot be salvaged, and friendships ruined. I guess i have had plently of those. But honestly those really true ones have never left, and i thank god for them. those that bother to go crazy along with me are really happening yo! but yes i think through many such shit i have gotten myself into, i have finally seen who are most important to me.

I have made up my mind, and i know i wont settle for my second best, and hope you wont either. i honestly dont know what is best, best. but this definitely is not the best outcome. Maybe logic does not adhere to the current situation, illogicality-imperitive. Felt so much these few weeks, and its just me, me. Its okay. My new plan is concrete and am pretty sure of whats in line.

But for now, its the horrible A levels trying to suck the blood and life out of all of us. Dont let them get their way. Survive this and you'd all come for my barbeque chicken wing party and we will eat and dance the night away

2009-07-14T20:33:00.000+08:00

Hey, life is as boring as usual. With a few exceptions here and there. Hmmmm. If not for them, i'd have gone insane beyond insane. Heh, have been really scary recently. Going crazy and talking rubbish and screaming at random people- Not funny. The day after is worse, with having to apologise to them and hide my face. Argh,. Today was random funny day. If only everyday was funny and laughable. I thought about year one and how i miss it, but its okay i'm better now. hahah

2009-07-02T22:18:00.003+08:00

Oh goodness me, she's obviously doesn't knowww.

Hahahaha.

THE JCTS ARE ENDING IN JUST ONE PAPER, MATH CAN SERIOUSLY GO AND CRUMPLE AND DIE IN ONE CORNER I REALLY DONT CAREEEE. EVERYTHING ELSE WAS A GONER. AM HAPPY TO SURVIVE IT AND THANK GOD FOR CRAPABILITY FOR GEOG AND GP HAHAHAHAH. YEAHHHHHHHHH HAPPY HAPPY, EH EH LADY GAGA IS MAKING ME GOOO GAGA HAHAHAHAHA EASTY IS GOING MAD AND CRAZYYY OHMYGOOOOSHHHHHHHH

2009-06-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

I know that no one reads this space anymore, but i still like to come back and talk nonsense
Feel accomplished :}

Can pack my bags and leave for a holiday anytime ahhhhhhhh

2009-06-22T21:17:00.003+08:00

Looking at the green uniform is enough to remind bout how much i dislike school. Stepping into its premises is worse, with all the walls trying to suffocate you and the sports complex looking so dumb like its not dumb enough, Alright, pissy mood, bad bad. Bad handwritings, bad logic, all nonsense. Am still bothered, but heck, i'm quite happy with jun pyo as it is now, no need for anything to disrupt anything.

Say hello to the person that successfully cheers me up.

On a bad note, studying is torturous and i have a tendency to retreat to weird corners wherever i am. I like to be protected by walls haha. BUT GJP IS ALWAYS THERE TO MAKE ME SMILEEE :}

2009-06-02T23:18:00.002+08:00

Let me see, the days passed so quickly i havent even registered it to be June yet. School's out for now, have been dreading the holidays. Means more studying and much less nonsense now that we dont have stupid lama lectures and tutorials and random finals to go to? hahaha. We are the ultimate fan of finals being the most kaypoh and aunty to tar pao chap chai peng.

Nasty bandungs that taste of Fe, blood, ARGH. disgusting!

Left, one big thing to get started on. Want to guess? hahaha. its kinda predictable anyway. To get myself a future and stop dreaming to become the First lady without having anything solid myself. Haha. Yes i know, its really irritating to have to be aware of a random eighteen year old's crazy fantasies. sorry.

So, we are now going to be nice studious little girls and boys and do our practice papers, read newspapers and watch boys over flowers. :}

2009-05-26T21:20:00.001+08:00

Yes there's still nothing to blog about.
Okay, maybe that some of our lives have become really different overnight, and we've become alot stronger blah blah

A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEABAG, YOU WONT KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS TILL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER
-NANCY REAGAN

hahaha, yeah. You go girl(s) :] Boyz suck, they are all disgusting, we are so much better without them. For years of heart aches and regrets, they will die away, and SMILE

2009-05-10T18:28:00.001+08:00

I hate bad days, and i have been getting more of them
Had insomnia ystd, and oh my gosh, i miss wen jieeeeeeee :(

2009-04-17T20:20:00.003+08:00

Cannot ah, I just like to act mysterious and disappear for long uncertain periods of time, cannot ah. ahah yeah lai lai i am updating because you asked me to. ooh not really, i feel abit weird now, so i'm ranting.

Okay, I just came back from the airport to pick somebody up. haha, and no i got the day wrong, and i really didnt use my brain. hahaha. Right, but i feel alot more inspired and certain of becoming an airstewardess! And you all know how temperamental i am, and how much my decisions are very much made based on feelings. Hey, but i was reading random shits here and there and i realised how many people want to be doctor, lawyer, etc. And here i am, wanting to be a chilli crab chef and an airstewardess. Dont know, but i just feel weird, like as if i'm not living up to expectations people have of me, and also about not maximising my potential etc. (not like i have alot of it anyway)

But yes you get me. I have thought about only doing things that make me feel happy, and not be obligated to do another just to make someone happier. But i think that there is still this level of accountability evident between us, and those supporting and hoping for the best out of us. And thats what stopping me from handing in the school withdrawal letter, and surviving each day of school like a battle of an ongoing war that is 1234567890 years long.

I dont know why some people have some dreams and why i have weird ones of my own. I wonder if i'm actually making sense of my eighteen years of existence sometimes too. And i dont really know what being accomplished exactly meant. I tend to cut short my dreams too. All the time, giving myself more slack, so i dont get disappointed easily. Ahh okay, maybe i should go cook or do something more constructive than to sit here and think about all these- nonsense? I dknwwwwwwwww howwwwwwww.

I still havent found the exact best best best proportions for the most oishiii chilli crab. But i'm going to... soon :D

2009-03-19T17:07:00.000+08:00

so bored so bored so bored so bored

2009-02-25T20:57:00.002+08:00

PRAWNING, NICE NYONYA FOOD AND GETTING DRENCHED ZOMGGGG

I am so cool thanks i know. I like what, cannot ah

2009-02-19T19:07:00.002+08:00

Hi, hi! I just had the most oishii pork cutlet noodle at jalan kayu just noww. Its so nice that i feel like eating another one, another one and yet another one.

Have been really tired and lisless. People've came up to me and shriek into my face "YOU'RE EXPERIENCING THE J2 LIFEEEE!!!" Haiyo, i know la, but you dont have to scare the shit out of me. I used to like to walk to places i have to go to. And i really wouldn't take the bus, unless i was going some where far, like yiochukang? But now i just look at the traffic light from the side gate of school and wonder if i have enough energy to just drag myself over to the other side. So, i take the bus in the end, without having to cross the road. So lazy right! Ah well.

I tell you, i have been going for training. Its both good and bad, cos good- i'm being responsible enough to turn up. Bad- cause i KO when i reach home. and am entirely unproductive after running like a kampong kid in the hot sun. Argh. And today, i was supposed to be there, but the mom got the day wrong for some stuff and i wore the wrong pair of shoes- so, i'm back home, updating my blog and snooping here and there, checking out new online blog shops ahaha.

Gosh, i want to eat double choc browniee now now :( I have getting very bad and extreme food cravings. Like i always do, but this time, its more serious. And i can't be bothered about being heavy and unfit. Fat then fat la. I dont care, you care for what. okay vectors vectors. I hope my brain works!

2009-02-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

Lub lub lub lub lub lub you many many many many many :)

2009-02-01T15:38:00.003+08:00

Here's the ultimate chio bu of the century!

MCKEY! Actually i'm not the one crazy over her, Lai is. But i just think she looks awesome in that picture.

Right, I'm still as boring, as fat, as lousy at math and as lazy. Nothing's changed, except for the fact that i have been doing more bible study and hoping to be less mean to the world. Hah. Patienceee!

The school will be invaded with rojak uniform wearers tomorrow and i'm not exactly looking forward to crowded canteens and study areas. Uh, I am not keen on the new batch of kids. They do not looking promising (looking at my brother) HA, no la. I still hope that a particular short dark and handsome boy can get in and make my life a little happier in school.

I am as unhappening as i could ever get. If i was still me two years ago, i wouldn't have imagined what i would be doing on an afternoon like this, well, i was hardly ever bored then. I thought i had too little time a day. With all the weird things i was up to. Now, i'm evolving into a complete aunty and its scary because i havent even finished school and i'm ageing, with dull coloured skin and a horribly long face. Gosh, i need to buy Rice bran mask and use SKII pitera miracle face essence. Maybe i will watch Attention Please to rekindle some hope and interest of becoming an air stewardess.

2009-01-25T23:21:00.002+08:00

I think i'm boring beyond boring,

Havent blogged in the longest time, since i left from china, came back, started school and all that shit. My diet plan has failed very very badly, thanks to my two tings who eat incessantly and still never grow fat. I dont know what else.. Havent been very happening you know. No party, no nothing and just normal plain school and the after school training and maybe a few meetups here and there and a little experimenting with weird crab recipes thats it. No fun now, i know. I think i'm growing old, old! too old for my own good, gosh. I sound like an aunty. I think i have evolved into a market going one. But i dont care nowwww. Haha, i have to clean the ceiling fan and prepare Yu sheng for tomorrow. Yeh!

But when i think and continue to think, i think that i havent lost myself and that i... (oh no i dont want to admit it) ARGH FEED THE DUCKS YOU KIJUHYTFRDGHJKIL

2008-12-21T00:17:00.003+08:00

Leaving for Chinaaa in 3,2,1, 5 hours hahaha. Have been busy, really really busy so i havent touched the keyboard for the past few weeks zomg!

Will update there!

Enjoy your christmas!

2008-12-05T23:20:00.002+08:00

Its so primary school, calling yourselves the make belief disney princes of hollywood in present day life.

And i really wonder what damaged your neurons, but never mind, i shant bother.

I'm better now, not as angsty and problematic. But i seriously think that every country i have ever expressed an interest in going is jinxed. First Thailand, then India, then thailand again, oh yes, china. Hmmm. Oh my, then the world is going to be in deep shit if i'm becoming an air stewardess. Ahaha.

Getting the Ka-chinggg really soon!! And some of the friends are back. I'm really in love with the song Miss Independant, and Love story. kind of back dated, but its still on my replay.

Hao, i am going to walk from one end of botanical gardens to the other 7 times in really high heels to burn fat and to make myself less unfit. Okay make that, run. If only. But i'm going to do the former anyway.

And i still want to go on a farm stay in sg, but why dont anyone want? It will be fun, picking chicken eggs and weeding. We get good breakfast too. Consider!

2008-12-01T20:27:00.004+08:00

oh my, somebody never change flower pot water, but nonetheless, GET WELL SOON. :) I will bake you a strawberry cheese cake upon ur recovery :D

Ah okay i admit i have been one lazy ass, but i have been doing so much work these few days. Work like, not cleaning the tables, but going down to furniture shops and cracking my brain on how to furnish the new house and match tv consoles with sofa colour and coffee table blah blah. Never knew that an interior designer has to do so much shit. oh my. So, its another job striked off my list.

Okay guess who i met yesterday at Amk, I was having dinner, then when i saw that person, i just had to laugh. So i stuffed a spoon into my mouth to stop myself from laughing too much ahaha. Although its the first time i saw that person real life, i could immediately recognise -!! Hmm, think fluffs and frills and uhm, disgusting? Wannabe and CMI? heh heh, and stalk-able!! HAHAHA.

Oh yay one of the tings is coming back tomorrow :) :) i wonder how it was there.
Yeh, i'm going to watch the dance show and then the nonya one. Its damn nice, the one with jeannette aw, oooo so many eye candyyy ahhh. heheh, all the kueh kueh are damn edible and makes me duper hungryyy :]

2008-11-29T14:48:00.002+08:00

Rules & Regulations:

1. Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

2. People get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little facts as well as state this rule clearly

3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names*NO TAGS BACK!*

OKAY!!

1. I get very annoyed by ugly tiles and bad flooring. They give me bad headaches.

2. I must open all the windows in my house when i get back home. (all the windows in the kitchen, dining room, bedrooms, balcony) If not, i will feel suffocated and get migraines cos of lack of oxygen.

3. I change my favourite food all the time. They're very seasonal. For this year, it was Yong tau foo from january to April, then Doughnuts from May to July, and i forgot what else. But currently, its Nonya Kueh.

4. I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything. Like, for example, eggs. I can love them one day, and hate them another for smelling so bad when they're raw.

5. I really dont like children, but i wanna run an orphanage next time. I think i hate the playground, screaming kind, but feel damn sorry for those in thailand/cambodia.

6. I like to buy alot alot of bags and accessories and hang them nicely in my room and admire them. But never wear/ carry them. Ahaha.

7. I like to dream and plan about ridiculously stupid money making proposals that are never started on, and plain dumb.

8. I love the smell of coconut milk, freshly painted rooms, and grass.

9. When i get nervous, i always clench my teeth very very tightly and uhm, think about ice cream.

10. I like to be alone, actually its already a known fact. Hmmm, I love airplane food? Yeah, as contrary to what many people say about it tasting like crap, i actually enjoy all my meals on flight, and look forward to eating everything from the stupid bun on the corner of your tray to the fruit salad in the lame square cup ^_^ And surprisingly, Royal Brunei's plane food is the best. Heh!

And i tag, Lai and Heng, people working at the royal's, ahah, and who ever that just came back from a plane ride, see if you like plane food! :]

2008-11-29T14:44:00.001+08:00

ARE YOU SURE YOU TYPED THE CORRECT EMAIL ADD? AHAHAHAHA, i've been wondering what's keeping you so long, and i bet you've been wondering what i'm so busy with, until cannot event reply one email, AHAHAH.

2008-11-26T11:18:00.004+08:00

What dreams are really made of?

ALL THE DAMN FOOD YOU CAN EAT IN SG, ahahah the photo album that Paul did was damn damn funnyy. It leaves you, hungry and both -.- & ^_^

Okay aunty encounters} I cant believe that shop and save aunties actually wait at the cashier and pounce on unsuspecting non aunties like us. See, we bought groceries worth almost a hundred, and so we got free stamps, like.. 8? i cant really remember. But when the aunties saw the stamps the cashier gave to us, they came up, (immediately) and asked us to give it to them so they could redeem the stamps they collected for some free oil/noodles. (i think) -.- And they were standing there for a pretty long time before and after we left to pounce on more unsuspecting non-aunties.

I'm a non aunty here, cos i dont hanker after stamps to get free oil. I would like to believe that there are different denominations of aunties. And in this case, i'm not a stamp aunty.

I have now gotten chem tuition, and i really hope that she's not going to faint in horror or something after seeing how lousy i am, ahaha. And i must thank the aunty again for giving me all her notess! I'm sort of addicted to Lipton Tea, and i just put 4 teabags into the tea pot, and that left my mother screeching "Put twoo can alreadyyyyyyy" just now. AHaha, its because 4 teabags will give your tea a thicker aroma and it will be nicer to drink. But i forgot to buy Lemons. So i cant make ILT.

Alright, i dont have to work today, but i have to go back tomorrow, boohooo :( It's making me depressed cos i really dont like to wash things like lego bricks and say Hello you want to buy pies? I think clearing tables are alot easier since you dont have a menu to be familiar with and you dont need to talk to people! Also, time passes alot faster when you're working in a buffet restaurant than in a cafe. I once thought that 4 hours passed and was ready to go home, when i checked the clock and found out that only ONE & A HALF hours had passed. I was pissed beyond pist.

Okay i feel like eating meatballs, but i had just eaten a peanut butter sandwich! mhmmm. I am drinking Lipton tea now, and i love love love it.

These are mini pies, 1.10 each, and 6 for 5.70

(imagine how you've to repeat that line more than 10 times a day)

MY LIPTON TEA <3

This is the chocolate truffle. It nice,
i've bought it before ^_^

I am so free that i can upload pictures like these. Hai!

okay okay, get busy :}

2008-11-23T22:04:00.002+08:00

Dinosaur faces, squeaky voices. Hmmmmmm

I dont know if i should go to the cafe tomorrow, cos the supervisor hasnt called me regarding my shift. And i'm too lazy to, anyway. I will be going for training on tuesday, which means i have to conserve energy, hmm hmm.

Anyway i have this negative ion, germanium neck band that i'm wearing now. Its kind of like a sports band that alleviates aches/pain caused by sporting activity. I dont know if its working though, cos i mopped the floor in the afternoon, and my back hasn't ached yet. Oh, and my thumb was sore from playing with ice cream, but it got better in an hour after putting on the neck band. Hmmmm. So i'm going for training on tuesday to test the band out. Ahaha.

Also, i have been eating way too much, it was my uncle's birthday dinner on saturday and my granddad's on sunday. So, it was 2 consecutive days of shark's fin, lobster, crab, prawn, cod fish, scallop and everything expensive. Oh actually i got the neck band free cos my mama bought a metallic bracelet that has magnetic properties for my uncle. Its some health product from china and i dont really believe in anything like that, but the older folks do, so yeah, i have a free neckband.

Okay hope we're doing fine in our own puzzle pieces, i have to finish typing my email to my friend in london called Lai. Ahaha, happy digging wells and holes in SiemReap, YT!! :]

2008-11-21T21:03:00.003+08:00

Now i'm doing something different, a cafe setting and am surrounded with pretty pretty cakeess and PIES :] I can make myself italian sodas as and when i want to and the carrot cake is good too. The food at the cafe is incredulously cheap cheap, and they do look good. Actually i wished i hadn't started working there, so that i could visit the cafe as a customer and not feel weird about it. Yeah, i never visit places where i work, as a customer. I get the weird vibe, like a reversal of roles kind of thing. And i think that a certain conversation between 2 cousins, is really amusing. HAHA. Yes. I want a holiday now now. And ten thousand for me to spend.

2008-11-19T23:32:00.001+08:00

I think i'm back to the porcelein plates, trays and filling glasses with water. I have an affinity with buffets, some how. Its not gooood.

2008-11-15T12:48:00.002+08:00

AM disgustingly depressed. 'Cos i can't seem to find a job i like enough to get started on and am not very happy to have to - UGH. Thinking about it will make me feel worse, so, don't. I just feel like tearing everything apart right now. All sunshine and rainbows can go and die. Fairytales too. DAMN YOU ALL HAPPY SHITZ. You hear me? I'm going to kick you in the face with my sky high stilletos if you dont go away. I hate all my scary shit dreams and ass hallucinations. I wake up in the middle of the night with my head racing and pulse thumping. I never sleep, Ugh, i think i'm going to become schizo HOW.

2008-11-14T13:18:00.003+08:00

I'm satisfied and fat!

We had our Vienna outing yesterday, and we ate until we were fat and bloated! For more details, they are on Kelly's blog! and YT havent up-dated since don't know whennnn.

Alright, both of you take care in Cambodia and London, and me, dont die in Hongkong/Taiwan/China

Man, the street dance competition how how how! I have been looking at videos and stuff. Heh, lets just have fun and do it man, 17 once only! :D

2008-11-12T10:08:00.003+08:00

Alright i was reading through my archives, and also some other people's archives, and i think i have changed so so much in the 2 years! Well for one, i used to be a complete huachi over the udon and now i'm obviously more civil. I was kinda embarassed at myself at some point in time reading the archives, and i wished i could erase them. But what ever for? I'm living the present, so that doesn't bother. I realised i was alot more happier and also alot more depressed. Maybe it was the frequency that i used to blog, or maybe i have just become emotionless. There were many instances in which i described my life as hell, but i can't seem to remember any of them. How fast i forget. And to think that i was almost suicidal over something so insignificant that i can't even remember a year later.

And yes, i would like to think people change as they grow older, but a certain archive i read through, isn't really the case. The author is exactly the same as 2 years before. The same attitude, the same outlook and i just feel weird, knowing that such a person does exist. How can one not change in a span of friggin 2 years? Maybe i'm just imposing my standards on other people and trying to justify what i did so far. But isn't it true to a small teeny extent then.

I think i shouldn't spend my time on unnecessary things like that. Its not my business whether you change or not. I am going to do something today. Haven't decided on what, but I really want to catch a nice play and go shopping.

2008-11-08T19:25:00.004+08:00

Day at the museum

(staircase behind our slide)

(toilet)

Free entry, Hilarious, Random, Scary Artifects, Chanting Buddhas, Getting Lost In Rooms, Stalking Museum Goers, Scaring The Proper Students, Hiding Behind Maps, Flying Hair, Self Timers, Sliding Down Staircases, Seeing Funny Faces, Drawing The Sashimi And The Shishamo, Stalking Again, Running Into Cubicles, Getting Spotted By More Than One, Having Them Stop And Stare, Being Artifects Ourselves, And yes, Hilarious

I don't know how i survived friday. It was random stupid and hilarious.

2008-11-01T16:44:00.003+08:00

ONE DOWN

I have learnt how to blade! not very well though, but enough to move, turn and act pro. Ahah. I must say that ice skating is a hell lot easier than blading. I felt so retarded at first but slowly i got used to it. I like it! Check out the pictures on Kelly's blog. I'm too lazy to upload them here, on top of the fact that they are rather unflattering.

Oh yes, I have to check out b-boying. I wonder if its easier than popping/locking which i can't do for nuts. Maybe we shall do cheerleading, hmm. But that ain't street dance. Man. I can't believe that the holidays are here, but am still not done with peedub.

Right, i have been really busy these few days, doing random sports. I have had slight urges to go back to 2 years ago, but have been curbing them. Maybe it'll work out better this way. Was contemplating whether to send a certain sms, which i decided not to in the end. I think i have no confidence in doing so, and it'll probably be a waste of my day.

Oh about the paragraph ahead. I must be nuts. Am watching a b-boying video on youtube now, and i think its insane. (strikes it) Its just... insane. Havent the faintest clue on how to do anything like that. Have to check out other genres. I wonder which is the easiest kind of street dance. Haha, krumping. HAH.

2008-10-30T22:32:00.001+08:00

HAH, I didnt lose out on ANYTHING :]

I know i'm emotionally constipated, i dont know how to express feelings, call me retarded, and baka. Still, I'm sorry. I have said it before, and you've said its alright. Now i dont know what to say to you.

I feel squishy on the inside, uneasy. OH DEAR

2008-10-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

I wish i could do this

2008-10-25T22:39:00.004+08:00

I feel sorry for the people i have been repeatedly going back to. I think they are very very sick of me being so -

sorry eh

It doesn't help that my ear piece is spoilt and i can't listen to songs that make me feel better. Everything's dying. Stupid metal
I dont really know what to say, but i hope to get busy again, so i wont have time to hu si luan xiang. Busy, like really busy.

On a random note, Wanning, Kelly and I have decided to join a street dance competition. Yes its really really random. Maybe we looked like we had some hidden talent, thats why the person asked us. Hah, and i just realised how retarded i can get dancing street dance with my ballet-ish style. If you want to join us, you're welcome. :]

2008-10-24T22:54:00.003+08:00

we all need that little bit of hope to keep us going

2008-10-24T22:41:00.003+08:00

Right, i havent been busy, just dead. Have been away, and dont plan to come back. I dont know where i'm living, who i am and where i'm going. Its okay, i'd be floundering until i find my place. Maybe when all the happiness in the world is evenly distributed and given to all those who need it, then will i be satisfied. I have to patch up my sinking sampan and learn to freakin swim to save myself. But you know what, i just dont care. Sometimes i dont know what has come over me, probably.. i dont know what either. I dont know what to think, and i'm just believing without even knowing what/why. I have been taking it, one at a time and really lightly that it seems a little weird. 12 months is a very short time for alot to happen. I think i have become slightly autistic. Oh well, enjoy.

2008-10-13T22:24:00.002+08:00

OKAY HERE GOES:

TING LAI HENG is the new DIN TAI FUNG

I really like Sasheemeeee, and its cold and slimy feeling, HAHA. and i cant wait to eat some more :D :D Also i have super bad cravings for steamboat and soup. You know those cantonese soup? THEY ARE DAMN GOOD. ahhhhh.
And thank god for the Lai and the Heng (tings) in school, yay they make me feel less dying

2008-10-13T20:57:00.002+08:00

haha, i am not depressed, just, depressed. Dont know man, my right eye is swollen like a xlb. and it looks like there's something blocking my vision. It makes my eye look so small, (like it isnt already?) hah. Oh its so funny that xw and me appeared during the graduation ppt, Hah. Our picture! Lama. Jia you to all the J2s! zomg i cannot imagine myself sitting through the exams exams exams. Already half dead with promos, cant imagine how i'd survive through A's. I WANT TO MAKE MY AXE-ELLE-BEE SOOOON. urgh i wanted to buy a yam puff today but my mummy said no. it'll probably make my eye more puffy. hah! ^_^

2008-10-10T22:29:00.002+08:00

I know that some people have it easier than others. It isn't fair, having to watch from the sidelines and feel so dejected. I was just thinking about being in the craziest class in TJ and feeling so stupid. Have been talking to alot of random people and the most random seem to have a dream for themselves. They know where they are heading, unlike me. Signing up for an architecture workshop does not make me want to become an architect. It can only interest, not motivate me. This is so sad. I want to have a business empire to inherit but i know that i'm quite likely to ruin it. And i have no patience to work my way up in a kitchen/ bakery/ wardrobe set. I have thought about how my weaknesses would ultimately lead up to my downfall in almost- everything. I am very convinced, that i dont have a future. The Math teacher was being very nice in telling me that i shouldnt give up on myself. But what else can i do except for it? Am i supposed to hope to become some crazy med student in NUS or something, and end up with all the hopes crashed down on me. Realistic? Thats what i'm being.

2008-10-02T19:32:00.001+08:00

Yay, i'm alot happier and, FATTER. Barbeque buffets, yum yum. I'm going to work at bread talk really soon and learn how to be a baker AND i'm going to learn how to be a Yelena really really soon. YAY for me :D

2008-10-01T20:17:00.002+08:00

I know i should avoid:
Going to places that make me feel terrible
Crossing over to that memory zone
Doing random things that make me feel like an idiot
Reading stuff like the msn conversation history
Looking at past/present pictures
Trying to read the mind or picture the current everyday

Alright, one day for each month, (again)
I keep having to start my 'get over it' regime over and over again. I suck. I dont think i would ever kick drugs/smoking if i ever got addicted to them some day, look at the level of self determination and perseverance i actually have. WUSHSLDSKJSDGHJKN.

Am going to get started on a new book, YAY. Cos i'm done with the current two. It was really good sitting at the edge of the bed with the favourite songs plugged in and reading, reading,reading. And it actually helped me feel alot better. Both books were about why God allowed Sin and tragedy to occur. Why he allowed heartaches and losses, and also about having faith, till the very end. It made me think about what i have lost during the past two years, and how hanging onto something as meaningless, was, meaningless. I dont know if i'm making sense here, but I am thankful for Him and his presence, for two whole years, unnoticed. At least i know he has never left, and that some things just aren't worth the struggle. Well, not with my own strength ^_^

2008-09-29T13:50:00.002+08:00

I have alot to do. Some feelings are left over dued, and not sorted out properly. Ugh, I hate feeling vulnerable and squishy. And yet, the promos are over, but i'm not the least bit relieved. I dont want to face reality and have it slapped onto my face.

Stupid and good for nothing

Probably? Not quite the same girl she used to be. Direction, hah. I want to leave and go to some other place where i can re-live my life, and think things over again. Really soon.

2008-09-21T17:40:00.004+08:00

All, a very long time ago. TA1, Sandcastles, Gamma. 3 years went past a little too quick. Oh damn, its only the promos and i'm dying. Literally. Tired, and in need of a holiday. Sometimes, the song on replay does make biology a little more bearable. But you know how i get sick of things, easily. Need a new motivation. Not just for the upcoming week. Chicken essence isn't really working. Ice cream and fried chicken buffets. ^_^

(yay for rolly's very updated blog, hope the prelims were alright for you)

I feel like an old woman :[

2008-09-17T20:36:00.002+08:00

One step at a time

There's no need to rush, It's like learning to fly,

Or falling in love. It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen

that we find the reasons why.

You believe and you doubt

You're confused, you got it all figured out.

Everything that you always wished for, could be yours, should be yours, would be yours

If they only knew

:]

2008-09-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

I want a Domyouji!

Then my life would be perfect :D

2008-09-04T11:13:00.000+08:00

And i am, very upset because the canadian pole vaulter boy hasnt replied! :(

2008-09-04T11:02:00.001+08:00

I was just thinking, thinking thinking thinking

I dont want to go to university

I am going to make mooncakes and spend my life in cambodia/thailand/vietnam

And then go to university ('.')

2008-09-04T10:55:00.001+08:00

I (used to) love you

Not anymore. But i find it harder to say your name.

2008-08-30T10:57:00.002+08:00

Hello clare, here you go. Your hot German diver. And yes, he's got a really good tattoo.

I want to get one too. But i'm really scared of the poking needles, the sound of it and almost everything.

(Cause youre sweeter than apple pie)

To all those who are brokenhearted, sad

Listen to your favourite song, Go shopping, Dance, Learn a new sport, Work out, Have fun. Or at least try to, do something that takes your mind off those things. It'll numb off (gradually)

There're still your friends and those around who really care, dont lose yourself, remember. For your life and your happiness, hang on, get a grip and move on.

Jia you, :)

2008-08-28T11:52:00.005+08:00

Monday was the best day of my life when gwen and i went down to Raffles City. ZOMGTSGHJKJDFSFGHJHJK. we could die any moment. Ahaha. It was pretty lama. Seriously we looked like idiots and some crazy hua chi.

RIGHT.

AND, here's part two of the olympic hottieees!

The Japanese gymmerrr duper hot yo

Dont you think Guo Jing Jing is so damn pretty

ANNA BESSONOVA!!!!!! OMG she wins.

SO COOL RIGHT. haha, i am being so unproductive. whateverrrr. ^_^

2008-08-24T15:07:00.004+08:00

My very happening 2 weeks of doing almost nothing, except going tipsy over all these cutieees. Such joy!

PARK TAE HWAN.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE x100000

The World No.1 Javeline thrower, 90m+,

beat that! And he's hot too.

woah. the oversplit ^_^

The Russian Synchronized Swimming Team

And my idol of the season, YELENA ISINBAYEVA

CZARINA OF THE POLE VAULT

I wish i could be like her. And fly 5m high ^_^ I could quit school and learn pole vaulting, then meet her in London, 4 years from now. Awesome stuff.

2008-08-18T00:14:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really don't know what i'm doing.
Things that i don't have to, unimportant, and even the should-nots are taking up my time. After the day has ended, i think back and feel stupid. I dislike life like that. Another week ahead, feels like some war i have to fight. So dumb. I have to learn to concentrate on the have-tos, more so, to stop feeling.

2008-08-10T14:40:00.003+08:00

I have to stop feeling tired/listless/unmotivated/sleep walk-ish and just plain bad. Alright i have to start practising smiling in the mirror, practise saying hello and practise being nice. I have to stock up on pens and pencils and new rulers just so i'd feel like using them = study. I will not touch the computer for useless things like online shopping and i will finish the homework, strike everything off the to-do list by monday. I will remember to apologise when i'm wrong and not act like i own the world and i will get down to baking the chocolate cake. (now)

2008-08-05T22:11:00.002+08:00

you crazy,

what are you doing, making me laugh.
this feels better,
kiss (no)

2008-07-27T22:09:00.003+08:00

One minute i held the key, next the walls were closed on me. And i discovered that my castles stand, upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand -viva la vida

I need motivation. This is cute. I need anaesthetic for the week ahead.

2008-07-25T22:23:00.001+08:00

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

awesome. I like betrand russell.

2008-07-25T20:22:00.003+08:00

It just doesn't seem to be working out right. Nothing does. I think i have to grow up and get my life in order. I've already taken the first step, now for the subsequent few, jia you eastina.

2008-07-20T23:10:00.002+08:00

I've had quite a bad time trying to control my emotions for the past few weeks. Not to mention going up and down an emotional rollercoaster. Its just- weird. Not the most terrible i've had though, but i get really tired. Like, now. And i know my yellow file is still lurking in corner under a desk somewhere in.. bedok. And tomorrow, being e.learning week, just sucks to the core because i can't go and retrieve it without a marked absence on the first day of the online spiffy thing. stupid crabs. I hope that triee comes to my rescue, or i'd just- die. :( Have been eating too much, with very random trips to the ice cream restaurant at weird timings at night and buffets that make me feel so fat. Gained 3 kg in lets see, 2 weeks. Hopeless right? Never mind, fat then fat la. I refuse to work out anymore. Lets just hope that fat dissolves by itself. The brother's turning 16 tomorrow. oh yay. There'd be a nice cake, i think. Speaking about cakes, i have yet to bake a flourless chocolate cake, delayed from june, up till now. Damn. Ah alright, there's better things waiting for me to get started on than rambling nonsense here.

2008-07-11T09:02:00.002+08:00

I think i have to do something about my clumsiness. Its the second time this term i've had a fall, a pretty bad one in fact. Now i have ugly knees, damn. Also, am officially lost in school, lessons and all :[ Have to get back on track but i dont know how.

Don't know how to put it, but having been disappointed perpetually isn't a very good feeling/ Have been drifting in and out of self contradiction and being unaware of other people's feelings too. Am a terrible person to be exact. And i think karma's getting back at me with very very terrible days, results, bird pee and a fine from LTA. Stupid.

I want to feel normal again.

2008-07-07T18:44:00.002+08:00

The bar,
Tonight, the margaritas and shots, hard liquor. Annoyed, lousy, drinking binge. Hell cares. I'm gone.
I dont know why i'm finding all the stupid excuses for my inadequacies. Cheers to being lost in translation.

2008-07-05T13:13:00.006+08:00

Am too lazy to lug my ass outta the house. AND am very inspired after watching a hell load of videos on youtube. Today's like my youtubing day :D
Oh its raining.
I dont feel like uploading any of them up here. Because i'm lazy cannot ah. haha, but i am more determined than ever to do pole vaulting after watching the wonder kid again. Yep, the tori allen video. And 2 finger pullups :D

The climber

The pole vaulter

zomg she's so talented and it makes me feel dumb! :>

2008-07-05T10:22:00.002+08:00

Awesome stuff,

Surviving the past week was a feat itself, Not dying was another.
:) :) :)

I'm just disappointed that i didn't get to see the milo boy there, not that i actually know how he looks like, but seeing him would be a bonus for all the horror. And on tuesday, there's the ultimate horror. the relay. Its so dumb that they are left with no choice and have to ask an ass like me to run. Lamaaa.

I think i have been too temperamental, too judgemental and way too annoying. Maybe i should really think hard before i open my mouth to any stupid responses to some people, and making my biased opinions way too obvious isn't a really good thing. Don't know, but everyone says that its me with the problem. But i am still very stubborn, don't bother.

Talking rubbish with the Leon is really funny because he is so full of shit that i forget about how horrible the jump went for me. And his 5km was awesome. The tj trackers did alright too, i think they ran their best, which was good enough.

I just had milo and am in a pretty good mood now.

2008-06-29T15:49:00.002+08:00

I dont like it when the internet doesn't listen to me and my clickings. I hate to be left waiting for things to happen, and i dont like it even more when my thoughts are racing so furiously in my head but nothing comes out from my mouth and i feel like banging something just so i can vent it out. Having a splitting headache now, and the weather's incredibly hot. Explains my temper and lousy mood now. Have a 987654324567 things to do and the library books are hella overdue, there's photos to print and there's stuff to buy. I can't even get out of my seat and stop the song on replay.

Curtain's finally closing.

I hate it when i dont have courage to face something, like, the coming week. I dont know how i'm going to survive getting back the bad grades, get thrashed at the competitions, do badly at internal rankings and not be able to get a hang of a particular groove. It makes me mad when i can't find the thumbdrive and i'm tossing every bag i see upside down and throwing it against the wall.

I feel like a wreck now.
And the headache's getting worse.

2008-06-25T19:15:00.003+08:00

Oh wow,

Just read a friend's blog and I realise that there is someone who thinks just like me. And that the words conveyed all the feelings i'd contained in this two years. It was explicitly accurate and somewhat consoling, to know that you ain't the only one. Yes, i do feel like an idiot at some point in time, but regret would be too strong a word. Love that is forgiving, beautiful and transcendental probably exists, but not in the near future. I know that I have never once loved before, I don't even know the feeling of loving someone else. Maybe its me, being too selfish or self centered, what ever you call it, I dont know. Maybe its because i haven't met a person who is deserving of my emotions, thoughts and feelings. What i'd been through, the past two years was an emotional rollercoaster ride, that was both childish and uncalled for. Enjoyable? At times, but probably not worth it. Right, I have also yet to figure out myself, and us, presently, moving on, learning more about ourselves and me, learning how to love.

2008-06-21T14:45:00.006+08:00

Don't we look freaky?

Yes we do.

School's starting just after this weekend, and i'm really not bothered to work on anything at the moment. Probably cause i dont think a few days would make a difference and that i want to enjoy the rest of what's left of the holidays. I have been doodling at home, the past few days, coming up with designs for the track board. Its like a destress therapy! :) that i got so addicted to. Right, and shuling just told me that i have to do the long jump as well. Its another day of embarrassment, like one day of triple jump isn't enough to skin me alive. :( but it beats not getting signed up for an event you've trained hard for. Honestly, whats up with the system. (i'm refraining from using the t word :D)

Am suddenly reminded that the Latin competition is this saturday. All the best to tsoh&Nick for their cha cha. :) I think i'm going to watch. haha. Thats if i'd even survive this week of tests. Alright, i just did a 7-things test/survey thingy, stuff you do when you're bored? Yup, I feel horridly bored.

2008-06-14T13:15:00.002+08:00

Now i have decided, if i can't finish studying, i might as well, not! And I'm going party this whole week before going back to that horrid place to kick some ass (jcts) :D My, she's one happy kid!

2008-06-13T12:18:00.003+08:00

I dislike the weather for being so inconsistently hot.
Have so many mosquito bites from plucking the weeds yesterday. And i have to look for jump spikes, cos well, nobody has them to spare 8. :(
I'm actually looking forward to nationals, (haha) Not for my own event duh. It's actually embarrassing to think about triple jump. I'd get to see hanis do her hurdles pro stuff and chong will win first again! yay for them.

I have been alot happier. And i think i bothered alot of people with stupid stories of mine. Which, dont make any sense. But anyway, i feel like drinking tomyam soup :} and i'm actually quite in a mood to catch a movie! I want to have seoul garden too, but i'm never that lucky in finding myself in a place that has one. Oh yah! LAI, are you back? Ramen ten has their spicy lala ramen, ONE FOR ONE. ZOMG lets go! :D

oh oh i'm thinking about food all the time. I want to learn something new.. Like cooking and .. (lets see what i cannot do) .. swimming? (no dont want) ... okay yah i should learn cooking. Its not as though i cannot cook. I can cook aglio olio so its not bad huh. But i want to learn how to cook complicated food (like those you see in restaurants) Japanese Fusion!

Maybe i should actually read my chemistry notes so i'd learn something new about the redox equations? oh i suck. I dont want to study anymore.

2008-06-11T23:15:00.002+08:00

:)

:)

:)

I have alot to do now. There's too many things on the to-do list to clear. And i have to get started. (you you and your funny rackets, stupid stripes, disgusting hair)

2008-06-09T10:27:00.002+08:00

I can never be (strong) like you.

Don't be
(why?)
So i can protect you
-.- (no don't!!)

I have never thought i'd need protection from someone else? That happened a long time ago though. I still think that i'm hella strong. (though i know i'm not all that) whattteverrr. :] I really shouldn't be thinking of this, but doing so makes me wanna puke actually. Should really get down to Mathematical Induction before dragging my heavy ass to training. I love today.

2008-06-07T21:19:00.006+08:00

Do not lean.
I think this is not new to me anymore. Being not good enough sucks. Some things are not worth fighting for. It'll be a waste of your time, my time, everyone's time. I should find a new direction. :)

I must say, I like to be around you, when you're not trying to be somebody.

2008-06-06T10:36:00.003+08:00

I'm not someone for tragic endings. And so i hate movies where someone has to die. The previous one i watched was a korean one, (my girlfriend is a cop)- Hilarious. The girl was strong like a guy and she could fight! But the guy was always scared and would run away from a fight. So, the girl always has to fight to save him. Haha. Then the guy died, while saving the girl. I continued watching the show because i liked the soundtrack. I think it was someone's favourite song too. When i heard it, my immediate reaction was, oh shit it sounds hella familiar. But never mind. I think there's a tragic end to almost everything, and I'm not someone who accepts things easily. I get all knotted up inside, and not do anything about it. I brood over it and it makes me mad. And when i get busy, the knots untie by themselves, cause i dont even think about them. Then, i become more normal and stop giving people a terrible aura. I'm in one of my knotting and unknotting phases again, bear with it, friends.

2008-06-04T10:51:00.003+08:00

THE AUNTIES <3

THE AWESOME GAMMA TITANS

okay now i'm back into missing titans again! C: so cool, do you notice that everyone looks damn happy and cute? awww. :)

2008-06-03T09:08:00.002+08:00

Zomg i'm aching all over.

Alright titanz girlz, why so many of you dont like ice skating? okay then we are going to sentosa to cut coconut trees and do log pt, AND 7km run, i dont care. yeah like i'd even do it myself. okay then set yup :)

Have to get my ass out of the house by 930 so i can go fix my teeth. I hate my teeth, they're so ugly. whatever. And i didn't study yesterday. I hate wasting my days doing nothing academically constructive, but its how i've been living the past week. Its sad to not be disciplined. And it applies not just to the books. HAVE TO WATCH THE CALORIES YO. haha clare, you have a potato problem. And i just eat far too much of everything. Maybe i should learn from Oli and avoid white flourrr. okay i try today and see how things turn out by the end of today :)

2008-06-01T21:59:00.002+08:00

I'm in a trashy mood.
Had thoughts about getting into an accident and getting the memory wiped out. Or just pack and go, no physical harm involved. Idiot. Should really stop thinking/acting like a kid. Whatever. Am going to be on the front cover of Forbes Magazine and the Singapore Tatler, the Who's who. Am going to buy all the Balenciaga gowns he ever designed and the Ferragamo flats in all the different colours. To hell with being 15,16. The most messed up years of my life. Time to be 17, and not give a shit about -. My mistake; I'm not as strong as I thought I was. But I'm still hanging on. Can beat it.

2008-06-01T15:22:00.001+08:00

I need to do some serious memory deleting now. Like NOW. or its going to drag on and on and i'd never find myself again. Gambatte easty.

2008-06-01T00:29:00.002+08:00

Everytime i get my hopes up a little higher, it always come on down hard on me

I know, to so many out there, its just a calculator- no big deal. But hey it matters alot to me. Trivial, yes, but to me, it so isn't. :(
I think it isn't just the calculator but everything that has happened so far. Should really learn to concentrate on more constructive things.

2008-05-30T13:16:00.003+08:00

I feel hella disappointed now.

2008-05-29T13:53:00.002+08:00

Its a bright and yellow banana day.

I think i should slap myself for going back to places i said i'd never visit again. it should be mind over heart no,? I feel insanely stupid for not using my head to think before i find myself sitting by the corner we heard our names as champions. shit you.

We had our JTS yesterday and it was alright la. Okay fine, quite fun too. Was too distracted with my own thinking. Its just stupid that i was walking without much thought and suddenly i found myself at the place where you said, was the best time of your life. How dumb.

Am not a soft toy person, but i really appreciate the present(s) and the cards they wrote are so sweet. Yea, Mrs Lim bought us lunch at the Coffee Club yesterday too (yay). We should never order Ice rambutan. hahah. I feel bad cos i'm a sucker at presents. I never know what to buy for people and often end up giving really boring stuff. But oh well, i write good letters though :)

Oh yes, going home was a scary affair. I saw this guy's back view and i was hesistating if it was Trinity. And then he turned around and gave me this scary look, like his eyes were shooting arrows and lasers. Okay fine maybe not him, but eh, why is he wearing tj pants? Trinity has a twin brother, no right! Then when i got onto the bus, i stared right into his face and went TRINITY TEO. zomg and it was hilarious cause he thought i was being fierce and scary too.

And no i dont look scary. The juniors are like scared of me, why! I'm like just zoned out, not fierce! maybe i should change the way i look when i zone out ^_^ like smile when i stone? No that would look hella freaky.
I wonder how clare is doing in pre-u sem :]

AND AND,
TITANS OUTING SOON. FOR THE GIRLS ONLY. COS WE HAVE TO GO TAN AND GET RID OF THE UGLY TANLINES, YES DYANNA. :] when we're all free that is. I think i am going to Hongkong, or like Bangkok. I want to go to both places this june. ^_^

Let me spam this place with pictures another time. I still have no idea who's camera contains all my pictures for the past few events. I should go get a camera. Such a late realisation of a need.

2008-05-27T17:46:00.002+08:00

Daydreaming about the future is fun, but it's no way to plan the next ten years. One word could send you off on a mental tangent full of ideas about where you want to live next, who you want to grow old with, or what kind of family you really want to have. These revelations might feel like directives from your subconsciousness, but they are merely your imagination trying to work things out. What you think you want desperately today might sound silly to you tomorrow, so don't commit to anything.

Its from a friend's blog.

I woke up looking for my passport and bank book, I packed my bag and was very ready to run there and pull you out, tell you what i've been wanting to say for 2 years. All these while, I hadn't the courage and the conviction to do so. I did so many stupid things, just so i thought i could forget you, but no. We'd escape to France and have our dessert picnic. After reading that, I decided that i was being stupid. Am probably the world's biggest idiot. I realised that you've moved on, while i'm stuck in a labyrinth of my own. Its me, not letting go, and you, being neutral towards everything. I want to find myself.

:[

2008-05-24T22:28:00.002+08:00

I just realised that i have pictures in different people's cameras. and now that i try to recall the owners of those cams, they suddenly appear random. Like why would that person have my picture in their camera!? This is hella random.
But i want all the Titans, Investiture and Mardi Gras pictures.

Am feeling all bouncy now. Maybe cos i have been studying this whole afternoon. Probably should make good use of time now, before i go beserk partying during the hols. vaunt III, you all going? And I want to go to taiwan to shop :( oh damn the jcts.

2008-05-24T12:20:00.002+08:00

Gamma Titans,

Thankyou so much for being part of the '08 team. Though we didn't win, I hope you all enjoyed the process and broke your individual records/expectations. Am sorry for being much of an ass sometimes, and when i lose my cool, it was scary yes i know, and i'm really sorry for those times i did so. I think the 7km run was the best i have ever did in 3 years. Its just how much we've helped each other out and endured that was -woah- . All the girls were super good, and i've really enjoyed working with all of you :)

The last time i'd ever think of myself as the vice-captain. :(
Go 16th :)

2008-05-19T17:34:00.003+08:00

It has been a year

I enjoyed the past few days, though i only slept like a measely few hours. Have talked alot to the girls, scared the new elects with our brilliant Sally-Mary-Ronald McTito CSI, Did PT, and our very cool Amazing Race. Day2 of camp was fun, and I really liked the Aunties with lanyards :)

Am going to miss them all. The 15th's legacy still lives on though. And congrats to the new comm taking over, gambatte. Now i'm still stuck in this stupid school, doing my tutorials, taking exams and waiting to graduate. I hate it when everyone is moving on and youre still one year short of leaving school. This is the third time i'm seeing people leave.

okay one last bolt of madness before we officially end our term,
Gamma titans, we can do! :>

2008-05-09T08:08:00.003+08:00

My wireless at home's down at the moment. And now, i've so many hours to kill before the chemistry mock spa. It's a few more days/weeks to stepping down, and I do feel a wee bit sad inside. But more of relieve actually. Oh, happy birthday(s) to so many people yo, there's like people turning 17,18,19 haha.
On another note, i really do hope i dont make the wrong decisions. Have been following my instincts lately. I hope i don't go all hay-wired. I want to do something to my hair. Just not cut it. ahhhh damn.

2008-05-04T15:51:00.002+08:00

oh wow she pole vaults and is a damn strong climber, how does she do it. Being equally good at two very sports. Tori Allen. That video from Jade's blog, Makes me wonder why i'm being such a lazy freak and not trying hard enough in mastering something. If i could, i would want to be everything on my list of to-bes. Its probably just the way I am. BUT, I'm secretly motivated. okay not so secret anymore. But yes... to the long jump pit, the wall and the dance floor.

2008-05-04T09:11:00.002+08:00

You can't force a smile out of me.
I hate to smile

2008-04-29T23:53:00.004+08:00

Its one success after the other:

THE SHIRT

The most happening elevator (refugee) team yo!

The squad.

Enough said. We are Gamma and we are the best :]

MEGA HOUSE FUNCTION was a blast. Am really glad that we've come this far, this successful. I know i'd miss the 15th hc.

2008-04-26T13:17:00.002+08:00

It's the after effects of the past few weeks of madness.
Next week's going to be crazy too, so is the whole of may.

We are just going to shoot them down, one by one
Now i've finally, a weekend to do what i want. Am going to shop shop shop and eat before going to work out at the gymmm. Am actually secretly motivated to go for the jump trainings after seeing how many trophies we all won together. okay right, there's

MEGA HOUSE FUNCTION
30th APRIL-TJC
do turn up
[smart casual]
-we mean it

haha. see ya^^

2008-04-25T00:14:00.001+08:00

Glad, tired, half dead, you name it.

Not as bad as you are doing though. Its my only consolation that I dont have it as tough as you do. Gambatte to everyone.

You, me, the cheerleaders and the athletes. Tomorrow is the day we've been slogging for and we've got to show the school what we've got. and WOW the crowd yeh!

And no matter the outcome, we know we're champions.
Gamma for the win :]

2008-04-20T23:52:00.002+08:00

I'm really happy that things are working out fine.

Gamma cheerleading is looking really good. The routine is so cooool zomg, and the cheerleaders are really bonded :]
We've our scorperty and squating leaves which look really impressive yo. ^^ don't tell you.

Now i've got a major headache for titans, and Mega house. HOW HOW HOW.
Have been a talent sport scout this year. hahah. Now i'm going to scout for people with muscles^_^ zomg i haven't been getting graphs, how how how. And my geog is like shit eh.

And i hope i'd survive this week, and have enough energy to fight friday. FRIDAY!! its THE DAY we've been waiting for.

GO GAMMA
(we know we're cool)

2008-04-18T21:56:00.000+08:00

spent time on something really undeserving, stupid.

am a really busy person so you probably should stop annoying me with your disgusting antics.

2008-04-12T13:58:00.005+08:00

We're halfway there.

Think there's a problem with the really pessimistic side of me. Its probably cos i dont like false hapiness and am always doubtful. When people find it so easy to think happy, i'd think otherwise. I hate having to feel, really happy, then, jaded the next moment. It sucks. Its my way of protecting myself from feelings, i guess.

Know something?
I miss you like crazy crazy crazy. But i dont want to say it out. Its here only because you are stuck there and can't read it. ^_^
Am kind of sorry that i haven't been there (for you), there's no more next time. but i'd still miss you, crazy. bye.

2008-04-07T21:25:00.002+08:00

THIS IS WHEN THE CRAZY KICKS IN.
NOW.

BESERK;

And I want Sano's talent, L's brain and a cell phone that doesn't die that easily!
On a happier note, I have finally got my Barney Rustle Blanket :D

Gambatte to everyone slogging their life out right now,
It'll pass (hopefully)

2008-04-03T20:50:00.002+08:00

They are just too self determined for my good. I should be too. Now that i realise it, everyone else around me, have suddenly become alot more hardworking, as compared to the last two years. The notion of the 6As has been repetatively brought up. Am also in the know that more than half of the other cohort doesn't give a shit about their tutorials now, but its just the people around me are hell on. Gosh, am so unmotivated that its annoying. I should get things started. :/

2008-04-01T23:21:00.002+08:00

Have been living through these few days real hard, one day at a time, an achievment. Its probably the bug and the mid term crisis where everyone feels sick and tired. I will like to think positive and be appreciative of the help.
wo zhen de hen lei :(