Cannot ah, I just like to act mysterious and disappear for long uncertain periods of time, cannot ah. ahah yeah lai lai i am updating because you asked me to. ooh not really, i feel abit weird now, so i'm ranting.

Okay, I just came back from the airport to pick somebody up. haha, and no i got the day wrong, and i really didnt use my brain. hahaha. Right, but i feel alot more inspired and certain of becoming an airstewardess! And you all know how temperamental i am, and how much my decisions are very much made based on feelings. Hey, but i was reading random shits here and there and i realised how many people want to be doctor, lawyer, etc. And here i am, wanting to be a chilli crab chef and an airstewardess. Dont know, but i just feel weird, like as if i'm not living up to expectations people have of me, and also about not maximising my potential etc. (not like i have alot of it anyway)

But yes you get me. I have thought about only doing things that make me feel happy, and not be obligated to do another just to make someone happier. But i think that there is still this level of accountability evident between us, and those supporting and hoping for the best out of us. And thats what stopping me from handing in the school withdrawal letter, and surviving each day of school like a battle of an ongoing war that is 1234567890 years long.

I dont know why some people have some dreams and why i have weird ones of my own. I wonder if i'm actually making sense of my eighteen years of existence sometimes too. And i dont really know what being accomplished exactly meant. I tend to cut short my dreams too. All the time, giving myself more slack, so i dont get disappointed easily. Ahh okay, maybe i should go cook or do something more constructive than to sit here and think about all these- nonsense? I dknwwwwwwwww howwwwwwww.

I still havent found the exact best best best proportions for the most oishiii chilli crab. But i'm going to... soon :D